This is a response to Drika Hayes' improvisation of “A Martian Sends A Postcard Home”, which can be found here.
First, and foremost: great “improv”! I think you captured the heart of the exercise: quick, fast-paced, jazz-esque improvisational practice.
Your piece leaves me wondering, just as a human first reading the Martian's postcard: what is being described? Is the object of reference here an onion? Or, is it some other object that invokes sadness, and brings people to tears? Is my reading too literal?
These are a few questions that stir, but only after the visceral element of the poem, the words on the screen, grip me, almost drawing "raindrops" to my "cheeks". Nevertheless, you can elaborate; perhaps write a few more stanzas, to more succinctly describe the event. To put things finely, keep it up!
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