Saturday, March 17, 2012

Classmate Response 2, Week 9

Response to Drika's Free Entry.

Wonderful performance of the free-write exercise. It's amazing to see the variegated array of language that emerged from such a short time. What if this was a daily or weekly exercise?

"the thrill of breaking your first bone" - a really eerie phrase that can be culled for a lot of intellectual fodder

"a choking layer of pollen" - very visceral because the pollen becomes a living threat.

"a non-existent breeze" - breeze seems to already contain non-existence (in a phenomenological sense). Perhaps some dissonance would help, i.e. "stalker breeze" or "pervert breeze".

"X-Games BMX rider come to a very impressive wheelie halt as one of the thousand campus cats strutted into his path." - great language! (Personal non sequitur: I miss watching the X-Games. Are they still good?)

For a a future exercise you should completely embody the character, that is, take on her voice and perspective. For example, describe the cars the girl sees in her own words.

Keep it up Drika!

Classmate Response 1, Week 9


This revision is a great improvement!

The reduction of the abstract child thieves to a specific figure adds specificity, albeit the fact that the "volunteer teacher" character could be made more specific. The description of this character and his/her normalcy reveals the "quiet brutality" (the unseen, unnoticed, terror) of child abuse. The litany of roles gives also adds a wonderful richness to the piece. In addition, the "clay" analogy fits perfectly. Play-Doh could also serve the function, while providing language that is both architectural and eerily familiar.

"They are a master of hide and seek" seems awkward grammatically, and supports my argument for honing in on a paricular person qua thief. "He is a master of hide of seek" would be an example of such a revision.

"Halloween is every day" is visceral and captures, subtly, the subject.

For a future revision, I would suggest increasing the specificity some more, and developing dissonant phrases like "quiet brutality".

Good job Kelsey!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Junkyard Quote(s) 2-4, Week 9

"The whole white race is a monster who is always hungry and what he eats is land."
-Chiksika - a war chief of the Kispoko division of the Shawnee Nation

"In war, the kill some of us; we shall destroy all of them."
-Thomas Jefferson

"a tortured virgin, a pregnant woman"
-Saidiya Hartman

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Junkyard Quote 1, Week 9

"haunted by figures of the unassirmlable, the exceptions to the democracy without exceptions" (Warren Montag - Bodies, Masses, Power, 86).

Monday, March 12, 2012

Reading Response 1, Week 8

After reading Ch.3 of Writing Poetry, I have started noticing the philosophical nature of Davidson and Fraser's approach to, analysis of, poetry. The introduction of concepts such as "self" and "other" are interesting because they emerge from the work of Hegelian metaphysics, and more strikingly post-modern and post-structuralist theory. The notion that the "poems reside in the space between what has come before and what has yet to appear" may seem intuitive to some, but that is only because post-structuralist/post-modern theory qua Foucaldian and post-Hegelian thought is so pervasive in the academe and contemporary "common-sense", to borrow Gramsci's term (Writing Poetry, 47). However, if the claim that language should be (is always already) blurred appears controversial, this is perhaps because this insight and approach to the poetic is just that.

The assumption that we should shy away from asserting meaning in reading and writing poetry reminds me of the work of Jeremy Fernando, a contemporary philosopher at the European Graduate School. Fernando's work on relationality and poetry is striking because it asserts that "any relationship must always already carry with it the unknown, and possibly always unknowable" (On Love and Poetry) In other words, when reading poetry (the other) we should shy from asserting meaning, because this will erase the enigma. It is an effacement of alterity. To put it more finely, since love is blind, to love the poem you must it with eyes close. When approaching the palimpsest of the poetic we should be blind "to not only the subject of the encounter—the self—but also of the very object of that encounter, the “you”—all that can be said is that there is an encounter" (On Love and Poetry). This applies to the writing and reading process. The figure of the blind Cupid should b always already be the figure of the writer and writer. The Davidsonian is always already the post-structuralist qua post-modern.

Rant complete. Catharsis achieved.

Calisthenics 1, Week 9

I am here practicing the 'call and response' in Ch. 3. I tried to synthesize various journal entries in the hopes that comical juxtapositions would arise.

She has long droopy breasts, not perky
like a teen girl in a porno lick,
but not flabby granny-breasts - deflated balloons,
nipples still succulent, with a wide dark-brown areola, perfect radii.
Why so serious Dick? Does female sexuality scare you?

Toss them overboard, for the fish in the bowl.
Insurance money, check. Food in the bowl.
6lb carne de puerco salada burrito.

Everyone dead, throats crushed, water-gnash-larynx,
no more laughter, drifting away, too long.
I got the Bible and the Gun. One of these is gon’ work!

Calisthenics 2, Week 8

Revision of a Calisthenic from earlier this week based on Damiyr's comments.

When I keep up with the Kardashians, I usually place my notebook on my lap, one hand on the rubber of the inkjet, and the other in the crevice between the DVR remote's pause and play buttons. Kim has taught a great deal since she authored her magnum opus with that Brandy's little brother who sings R&B. She took a risk, like my creative writing teacher always says, and de-familiarized the female body. She must have practiced a lot for those scenes, and spent time researching for the script. My face always turns reddish pink when I watch the final scene, my lips arching up and dimples sinking in. Last week my husband walked into living room when I was watching it, and asked me, with his cement-face, why I watched this every Thursday. I turned around, stared in his eyes, and asked him "why so serious Billy? Does female sexuality scare you?"

When I was seven or eight my mom used to drag me to her AA meetings on Thursdays. Afterwards we would go to her friend Stacy's house, and I'd watch two re-runs of Will and Grace while they went to talk in the bedroom. Sometimes I'd pick a book from the shelf by the TV. I preferred the bell hooks and Audre Lorde books because they had nice covers and talked about women and freedom. When mom and Stacy were done talking they would always laugh at what I was reading. They didn't think I understood the big words like feminism or gender or transgression. But, I did.